Rats Doing Wage Theft, The Magic Of Santa's Weight And More Of The Best Christmas Tweets This Year
With any luck, you were blessedly offline — or more offline than usual — yesterday, if only to give your eyes a rest. But whether or not you were able to log off, welcome back to online, where we have a holiday gift for you: a roundup of some great Christmas tweets we found on the TL. Enjoy.
// christmas spoilers
— ⚢ (@frommepilled) December 24, 2021
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this man just came down my chimney what the fuck
I saw mommy kissing Pete Davidson
— ❄️ Genevieve Ice Ice Baby ❄️ (@genevieverice) December 25, 2021
incorrect. he gets fat before christmas through magic and therefore the snacks are immaterial to his weight. absolute buffoon post by a fundamentally unserious thinker. ten year old's idea of what a smart guy would say https://t.co/ldL1CCn8uw
— ugly laughing thinking about four month old post (@BoronTheFloor) December 25, 2021
me trying to find a parking spot at Kroger on Christmas Eve: "holy shit, look at all these fucking idiots trying to go to the grocery store on Christmas Eve"
— Jizz Johnson (@JizzJohnsonJr) December 24, 2021
got invited to an "alcohol-free christmas carol singalong" pic.twitter.com/F03vC6YsCF
— wrecks (@oldredtree) December 24, 2021
last year I forgot to get batteries for my niece's toy so this year she got me this pic.twitter.com/bDiSpvCKe4
— Parker (@panoparker) December 25, 2021
for 15 years we made fun of my dad for saying he wants a vacuum for christmas every year, but we finally got him a nice dyson and you know what? he's walking around, vacuuming all every room, muttering "this is a game changer." say what you will but the man knows what he wants
— it's george 🇵🇸 (@magnuswlitb) December 25, 2021
my dad couldn't breathe when he handed me this in a gift bag just on the floor laughing tears in his eyes pic.twitter.com/xwf0YeKu6X
— melissa lozada-oliva (@ellomelissa) December 26, 2021
no adult christmas can ever match the feeling of being eleven, getting a stack of meg cabot novels, and spending all day lying on your stomach on a blow-up mattress, reading and quietly eating cheese sticks
— meadow soprano's lisa loeb poster (@EmmaSpecter) December 25, 2021
I get so depressed on Christmas I can't believe 3 ghosts ain't pull up last night to curse me out.
— ✨🎀 Scrooge McDyke 🎀 ✨ (@sheriadidthat) December 25, 2021
watching Muppet Christmas Carol and absolutely livid about the wage theft these rats are doing
— Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) (@IwriteOK) December 25, 2021
Please look at this image of a cat seeing a Christmas tree for the first time pic.twitter.com/0Vv5xYO3OI
— Louise! (@themouseyouknow) December 25, 2021
ME: i'm so full i think i might die
— Miles Klee (@MilesKlee) December 26, 2021
ALSO ME: kinda want something to nibble on
vaccinated or not pls stop making hot chocolate with water
— doob🦋 (@taurusdoob) December 23, 2021
Just offered to make tea for my entire family and they said yes pic.twitter.com/AcvcNmsmys
— Ewan Smith but festive 🍉 (@eee_smith) December 25, 2021
christmas is fun cuz ur family gets an entire day to make comments that will ruin the rest of your week
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) December 25, 2021
my uncle walked in to chistmas, filled a plate, ate in a separate room, and left. he was here 4 minutes
— maggaggie (@88mugsy88) December 25, 2021
lmao my cousin's toddler just sang Silent Night for us, but she just unapologetically ended it at "round yon." done. no further words.
— i bless the rains down in castamere (@Chinchillazllla) December 26, 2021
americans love telling you it's 60 degrees on christmas day. brother, i have no idea what the fuck that means.
— the banks are out of money (@mrgracemugabe) December 26, 2021
Merry Christmas and happy New Year's to everyone except 2 certain people I think they know who they are
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 25, 2021
Everyone packing up their nativity sets tomorrow: https://t.co/YEzRcE5n0g
— Lilly Dancyger (@lillydancyger) December 26, 2021
