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A Guy Fanning Out Over Seeing Bill Gates Wait In Line, And More Of This Week's Main Character

Adwait
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A Guy Fanning Out Over Seeing Bill Gates Wait In Line, And More Of This Week's Main Character
Don't use an old photo if you're going to stan a billionaire, a new way to judge neoliberals just dropped, so did a bad dad and a former sportscaster who needs to do his homework.
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Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week’s characters include a couple of randoms, one who loves Bill Gates and another who thinks big headphones are a nuisance, alongside a terrible dad and a sports dude who has no idea how sports and taunting work.


And here's a post-credits scene before the movie for you, AKA a shout out to characters we simply couldn't cover:



Sunday

Jay Sutherland

The character: Jay Sutherland, writer, headphone philosopher

The plot: I swear since Elon took over Twitter (promise, I will stop using this hook soon) it feels as if we're getting new OMC candidates generated weekly. Who is Jay Sutherland? I follow thousands of accounts and have zero cross-connection with him. Anyway. He's some type of writer, who dropped a wild political take using a headphone analogy.

"Something about massive headphones that go around your head that signal something very individualistic and neoliberal," he wrote and concluded that small earphones were the opposite and more inviting for a chat.


The repercussion: Honestly, a toothless and fun tweet, but still there's something kind of off about it. Hard to put my finger on it, but luckily this tweet caught some steam and netizens had time to opine on it.


Adwait Patil





Sunday

Keith Olbermann

The character: Keith Olbermann, former sports guy, now uninformed sports guy

The plot: Olbermann fired of a sizzling hot take after seeing Angel Reese win the NCAA Women's Championship game. In the game Reese reacted to victory over another fierce competitor with outsized emotion, and Olbermann (among many, many others) was quick to call the 20-year-old basketball phenom Reese a "f—ing idiot." Yup. His words, not mine.

Now, if you've ever played a minute of competitive sport, this includes betting on your Sunday games in the park against your rival neighborhood friend group, you are aware of how heated things get, how these emotions lead to certain actions and why things mostly stay on the court. Did Reese overreact? Yeah sure. She just won a national championship buddy. How many do you have?


The repercussion: An unbelievably stupid take in the heat of the moment will make you apologize in, checks the timestamps, less than 12-hours. What a tool. "I don't follow hoops," is such a weak apology.


Adwait Patil





Saturday

Reddit Dad

The character: Reddit dad, a guy on Reddit, mean dad

The plot: The below tweet shows an AITA Reddit post from a dad who’s decided that his 16- and 13-year-old daughters are now too old to go on the “daddy-daughter dates” that have been a tradition between them for years.

You can read the details yourself, but in summary: the two daughters the dad says are too old to hang out with him one-on-one are both from his previous marriage; the 16-year-old had saved up the wages from her new job to take her dad out; he told her she was too old for the dates and that he needs to spend time with his younger daughters instead. Heartbreaking.


The repercussion: People in the replies are in near-unanimous agreement that this guy seriously sucks. Some reckon he’s deliberately cutting out the kids from his last marriage, while others think calling them “daddy-daughter dates” is a bit weird, but that ultimately he should be grateful his kids want to spend time with him. Either way, this guy is most definitely the asshole, his children deserve better, and it’s astonishing that he can’t see that.


Darcy Jimenenz



Thursday

Ceosonson

The character: Ceosonson, Bill Gates's number one fan

The plot: So this weird tweet popped up on our radar, and we aren’t sure who to make fun of more here. Bill Gates, a billionaire with a long history of things to make fun of, or this man for tweeting out his affection for Bill Gates being dripless. We're going to go with the guy who loves a swag-less Bill Gates.

If you're going to post a Tweet fanning out over a billionaire, unless you're a literal nepo baby, how can you not expect a barrage of insults? I'd like to assume that most people on the Internet do not experience the luxuries that Bill Gates does, so it's their natural instinct to turn on him.


The repercussion: Fact check: that original photo is from 2019, so strike one.

And then strike two and three were everyone spilling the tea on Gates and then dunking on this dude for making this comment. Just a lot of stupidity going on, so feel free to enjoy all of it guilt free. There should be no billionaires and no one should be a fan of them. No one earns that much money in a just society.


Jared Russo



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Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a TikTok influencer who is married to the game, the world's best basketball player with a profound quote, liquid trees, a Twitter user with a question about showering with glasses and more.


Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].

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