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A Politician Who Thinks Dogs Should Work As Narcs Forever, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'

A Politician Who Thinks Dogs Should Work As Narcs Forever, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
This week we've also got an ex-TV host with outdated views on what fashion should and shouldn't be, and a sports commentator who needs another history lesson.
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Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week’s characters include a long list of dilettantes. There were a few we couldn't fully dive into, like Don Lemon, who has no idea about "a women's prime ages", a "Shark Tank" host having an existential moment, an outrageous thought experiment from one of our ex-OMCs, a WSJ reporter saying we should skip breakfast to save money, the NYT for defending its sub-par coverage of trans issues and Chris Cuomo, who, frankly, we don't know why people are still asking questions to. Oh, and some dude who loves being a short king.

But among the ones that caught our attention were a politician who wants dogs to work as narcs their entire life, a commentator making a bizarre reference to Abe Lincoln and an ex-TV host who's stuck in the middle ages.



Tuesday

Jedediah Bila

The character: Jedediah Bila, former "The View" co-host, former Fox News anchor, hater

The plot: Last week, TV presenter Jedediah Bila (me neither) tweeted a photo of English singer-songwriter and Grammy-winner Sam Smith, along with the caption: “Masculinity in 2023.”



Firstly, Smith is non-binary, so the comment immediately makes no sense. Secondly, um — yep! Now that we’re finally eschewing the meaningless rules that dictate what we should wear and how we should express ourselves, masculinity can be literally anything we want it to be — and that’s a wonderful thing. (Plus, a T-shirt and shorts is hardly the most daring outfit a celebrity has ever worn, so clearly Bila needs to get out more.)


The repercussion: While a large number of losers on Twitter sided with Bila, a reassuring amount also called her out for misgendering Smith, forgetting that fashion evolves and transgressive/androgynous style has been a thing for a very long time, and for being quite simply a nasty person.


 

Also, lol:



Darcy Jimenez




Sunday

Chris Berman

The character: Chris Berman, sports announcer, old man

The plot: Chris Berman was one of the cornerstones of ESPN for decades, and we all came to love all of the wacky things he said and the way he said them. But then a few years ago he retired, and we all moved on. It was time for some new blood to make a name for themselves. But then, no, nevermind he came back! Why did he come out of retirement? For major gaffs like this, apparently.



The repercussion: While nothing happened officially after the comment aired (ESPN didn’t release a statement, Berman didn’t apologize, the entire ordeal just kind of ended there), that hasn’t stopped people on Twitter from being totally mortified by what he said. Like, he just casually dropped that line? Did he have it planned? It wasn’t a non-sequitur, it was borderline racist.


Jared Russo




Thursday

John Jasinski

The character: John Jasinski, Minnesota state senator, hates seeing dogs unemployed

The plot: During a hearing on the legalization of adult-use marijuana, only one thing was on Jasinski's mind — the dogs. What would happen to all the dogs that were trained to sniff out marijuana. If his state made it legal, surely the dogs would be out of a job in no time?



Why does Jasinksi care more about dogs being employed by the state more than possibly getting more state revenue by selling licensed marijuana products to adults? No idea. Does he not like the idea of having more pups up for adoption once they give up their narc jackets for a better life? No idea.


The repercussion: Legalizing the use of marijuana brings out strong voices online — mostly in support of the cause because it's high time it happened — and people were quick to catch the state senator's bullsh—t excuse about protecting the dogs' jobs.



Adwait Patil


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Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a conservative hack who's running out of ideas, an anti-Italian pasta recipe and more.

Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected]

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