OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE
A Woman Oblivious About Her Hot Husband, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week’s characters include the indomitable Kentucky Fried Chicken, a journalist whose hot husband isn't getting the attention he deserves and the mayor of New York City with another bad quote.
Tuesday
Eric Adams
The character: Eric Adams, NYC Mayor, one-liner enthusiast
The plot: Eric Adams, mayor of New York City, has graced this column multiple times before, so it's glad to see him making a comeback. Adams, who behaves like he runs Gotham, loves one-liners, and in a recent talk, at an "interfaith breakfast," said: "when we took prayers out of schools, guns came into schools."
“When we took prayers out of schools, guns came into schools.”
— The Recount (@therecount) February 28, 2023
— NYC Mayor Eric Adams (D) speaking at the New York Public Library interfaith breakfast pic.twitter.com/2GkxKCB5bX
Adams's quotable quotes are cute the first three times, but after that they are jarring and quite tone deaf. Conflating the horrific epidemic of gun violence with a throwaway line to appease another section of the voting block is quite a low blow to your supporters and city's residents; not to mention those affected by gun violence daily.
The repercussion: Since Adams is a public figure, of a city that loves to be the main character itself, people dunking on him have to be polite-ish.
Please stop it. I’ll say it again: when we “had prayer in the schools” the principal thing they were praying for in half the schools in the country was that little boys like Adams and litttle girls like me would not be bused into their schools. https://t.co/af91tMfAeQ
— Sherrilyn Ifill (@SIfill_) March 1, 2023
bros seriously what fucking year is it https://t.co/kvs4Unxg2U
— AquaImperium (@aquaimperium8) February 28, 2023
New Yorkers are not allowed to talk shit about any other city anymore when they elected this dickhead. https://t.co/X1z9aJtDQU
— P.B. Gomez (@NotoriousPBG) February 28, 2023
Jim crow and the bible were attending school at the same time so I doubt that prayer in classrooms will do anything https://t.co/5v4MRzxd4R
— I could’ve just sat on in with massa (@WrittenByHanna) February 28, 2023
The (D) is pronounced like an R. https://t.co/h9ldgUyfwf
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) February 28, 2023
Adwait Patil
Tuesday
Kentucky Fried Chicken
The character: KFC, fast food chain, no longer an acronym for Kentucky Fried Chicken
The plot: One of the most talked about, ridiculed, memed to death and infamous items ever offered by a fast food chain was the KFC Double Down. Which is essentially a chicken sandwich just without the bread buns. I remember having one and my fingers got burnt because holding a hot piece of chicken is a stupid idea. How can you hold this thing without something to protect your fingers? The entire idea is pointless otherwise.
Double Down on the Double Down, returning for a limited time on 3/6 ‼️ https://t.co/yN8aLdSggR pic.twitter.com/I7eYxSaiwO
— KFC (@kfc) March 1, 2023
The repercussion: People reacted to the Double Down’s return, and let’s just say that America’s health as a whole will be taken down a couple of notches. This is a dangerous game KFC is playing, there’s no telling how much (internal) damage they’re going to cause.
I’m not ready for KFC Double Down getting a nostalgic comeback
— Henry Gilbert (@hEnereyG) March 1, 2023
Everyone who is old enough to be excited about the return of the kfc double down should be monitoring their sodium intake tbh
— gary human (@kraftwerksample) March 1, 2023
"We're emerging from the pandemic. What are we going to do with all these hospital beds?" https://t.co/hNImPWRQcF
— Ike Morgan (@IkeMorgan) March 2, 2023
fascinated by the relationship between economic recessions and the resurgence of the kfc double down https://t.co/XZO49STd2v pic.twitter.com/qMoyohJwzb
— rhyttalynn (@oldlinds) March 1, 2023
under obama: we get the double down
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) March 1, 2023
under trump: no double down
under biden: the double down is back
the parties are not the same https://t.co/KZxqCbxZlQ
i ate one of these a decade ago, and it put me on a bad path in life. don't make my mistake, kids. don't eat the Double Down sandwich https://t.co/CkkOic1ijt
— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) March 1, 2023
Jared Russo
Saturday
Molly Gunn
The character: Molly Gunn, journalist, woman who wouldn’t know a hot husband if she lived with one
The plot: Columnists sharing intimate details about their romantic and married lives is nothing new, but this article recently published in the UK’s The Times has caused quite a stir online. The headline reads: “My husband used to be hot,” alongside a picture of the author sitting with her objectively very attractive husband.
Are heterosexuals ok pic.twitter.com/7aKMaj95TL
— Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) February 25, 2023
The repercussion: Twitter users’ responses to the piece were mostly a mixture of two things: one, disbelief that the writer can’t seem to see how hot her husband still is; and two, sympathy for the husband, who is having his looks discussed (and seemingly disparaged) in a national newspaper.
If this husband can see this, my DMs are respectfully open xxx https://t.co/XfOEcnE695
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) February 25, 2023
my only contribution to this beautiful round of public discourse is that this 45-year-old melancholy-looking British man would be eaten alive by the 25 to 45-aged female dating population in NYC that’s all pic.twitter.com/1XcyohdG1B
— Iva Dixit (@ivadixit) February 25, 2023
“What’s the photo for again?”
— Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) February 25, 2023
“Just a freelance piece I’m writing”
“Ok great” pic.twitter.com/HnjUbttho0
Genuinely what does it accomplish to complain about and belittle your spouse so publicly? Also, Tom is hot pic.twitter.com/uthgqd7OEG
— amil (@amil) February 25, 2023
The sheer number of people who have reacted to this on here by telling her that her husband is actually still ‘hot’ is the best ‘fuck you’ I’ve seen in ages. Where does The Times find these people? pic.twitter.com/oVKPPijZd5
— Simon Harris - Man Behaving Dadly (THAT’S DADLY) (@simonharris_mbd) February 25, 2023
This is so disrespectful; it's really upset me. Also, he is a stunner.
— Jane Casey (@JaneCaseyAuthor) February 25, 2023
This chick's husband - call me. https://t.co/Z5sOGe0uXw
— Dr Eleanor Janega (@GoingMedieval) February 25, 2023
obviously subjective, but he looks better now than he did in her favourite photo. pic.twitter.com/S5aSK1Q5SE
— dan barker (@danbarker) February 25, 2023
the piece itself mostly shows how a life of small resentments can completely obscure what's in front of you, but the act of writing / monetising it is L posting's gravest cautionary tale to date because this man is going to be DROWNING in advances https://t.co/zPfCQYXD6D
— 𝖊𝖌𝖌 (@emmaggarland) February 26, 2023
OPEN UP THAT RELATIONSHIP GURRRRL pic.twitter.com/GlgcaPb6Sh
— Nic Keaney (@NicKeaney) February 25, 2023
I actually now think that she/they did this so people would point out that her husband IS hot bc it’s a kink of theirs https://t.co/sI3eXraV1N
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 26, 2023
Darcy Jimenez
———
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a micro-celebrity who likes likes to call women "mid," an old actor saying old-actor-racist things and a Twitter rando who deservedly got piled on for a take on women's bodies that made no sense.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].